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    September 10

    与天地斗与蝙蝠斗

    地点:上海某一老旧住宅内一居室

    时间:2009年9月6日晚11:00左右

    人物:某张江帅哥与某休假女

    目标:一只路过的蝙蝠

    事件:百无聊赖的换着电视频道,隔着紧闭的卧室房门听见外间的厨房兼小厅有一阵“雨打芭蕉”的响动,于是电视静音,屏息看着门外,只见一个黑影忽然从左边出现突然又在右边撞击,该事件的二位主人公战战兢兢的贴着玻璃看到了此次事件的目标,一只獐头鼠目不知道从哪来冒出来的蝙蝠,正在上下盘旋,左冲右撞。观望半天后,两人得出结论,这和上次在房间里面看到那只老鼠一样,都只是路过一下,对本领土没有超过重要性水平的威胁,只是从哪里获得了通行证,从哪里入的关就不得而知了,看来要加强对出入境的管理。更或者这只蝙蝠是为了逮住那只路过的老鼠,来这里执行任务,任务完成后,忘记了归国之路了。只是外面那个厅里也基本都是密闭的,窗户都关着,门也紧闭,这位依靠超声波听声辩位的foreigner该怎么出去呢?10分钟后,二位小胆在门后作出决定,由男小胆全副武装以迅雷不及掩耳之势跳进外厅,再为该foreigner开辟返乡之路。而这全副武装包括秋冬季节的连帽冲锋衣(内带棉绒内胆),遍寻不着的运动裤换成了牛仔裤,拖鞋,手电筒。在这只蝙蝠栖息在抽油烟机上时,女小胆将男小胆义不容辞的推了出去,且紧闭房门,暗暗起誓:这门在危险消除之前绝对不能再开一个缝。男小胆低眉顺眼,以半蹲姿式在小厅里面匍匐前进,将厨房的纱窗打开,满心以为这听声辩位的foreigner能够立刻判断出有隙可乘了,结果5分钟以后不管是以手电引诱还是以硬物驱赶,这蝙蝠依然是左冲右撞,浑然不觉。不禁让这二位小胆痛斥蝙蝠的智商低,科学杂志糊弄咱。于是只好再将通往走廊的房门打开,可是蝙蝠依然是无动于衷,怎么着,难道你在归国途中,爱上咱这不到5个平方的小国家了还是咋~~这男小胆在挥汗如雨中决定不能再采用温柔攻势,为了尽快卸下这全身的武装,他决定以一长竿挑逗之,于是几次搏击之后,蝙蝠被戳出了房门,男小胆安心的将房门关上,并最终作出结论:其一,他并没有伤着蝙蝠,蝙蝠绝对不会记恨与他;其二,这蝙蝠的入境也许是从门缝里面挤进来的,至于为什么这不是他职权范围内该涉及的。至此,整场战役结束,以男小胆的全副武装和挥汗如雨以及女小胆的远程指挥构成了战役决定性的胜利。只是唯一可惜的是,战地记者的武器——照相机在杭州,无法为各位带来图文直播。

    Comments (3)

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    宁 吕wrote:
    哈~~~~真的是福到么?那我亲自把它赶出去,岂不是很不幸~~
    Sept. 21
    羽 李wrote:
    蝙蝠这动物好像酷爱钻缝入室这种运动。
    我之前租住的房子洗手间只有一扇小小的窗,还总是关着或是虚掩着的,竟然在一年内遇到过三次入室事件~~
    而且直接奔着卧室就进来了,上下翻飞不亦乐乎,根本不给我军以准备和喘息的时间,经常搞到我军队员鸡飞狗跳狼狈不堪。唉……
    不过按照老祖宗的说法,这是“福到”啊,好事情来的~!^_^

    Sept. 13
    华 赵wrote:
    蝙蝠不会撞到人的,飞行能力奇佳~
    Sept. 10

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